The Bachelor Recap: Finally, The Bachelor and GLOW Crossover of Your Dreams

The Bachelor Recap: Finally, The Bachelor and GLOW Crossover of Your Dreams
From TIME - January 15, 2018

Welcome back to the most eco-friendly season of The Bachelor since they recycled Brad Womack. This season, The Bachelorettes reject Arie has returned to the mansion to look for love the only way he knows how. Now, the so-called Kissing Bandit is working his way through a crowd of gorgeous women looking for a life partner who doesnt mind getting married on national television.

Heres what happened this week on The Bachelor:

You GLOW Girl

For the first Group Date, Arie decides to put a ring on it. He invites eight girls to strap on some latex (or more latex) and piledrive each other in the first ever installment of G.L.O.B., the Gorgeous Ladies of the Bachelor. To teach the women the ropes and how to bounce their opponents heads off them, Chris Harrison invites two of his personal best friends who happen to be original members of the 80s franchise G.L.O.W., the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. Arie is excited, because its going to be uncomfortable for all of us, which apparently is what Arie looks for in a relationship. The G.L.O.W. pros are not impressed with Aries crew, save for Bekah, who seems to be using The Bachelor as an audition for the Netflix series. Eventually Bibiana and Tia go cry in a corner and Arie has to come comfort them. Soon the match starts and Arie faces off against Kenny, the kind-hearted wrestler who wooed Rachel on The Bachelorette. Arie won, but it was definitely rigged. Then the ladies enter the ring and its Bekah The Sex Kitten and Maquel The Lunch Lady throwing each other around a turnbuckle and a wrestling Southern belle piledriving a Bridezilla and its shocking that it took this long for The Bachelor to do this.

Post-Ring Party

Arie takes the women to a trailer park, but like a chic trailer park, for the date and spends all night making out with various women in trailers like the Don Juan de Winnebago. He makes sure Tias tears have dried, comforts Bibiana, canoodles with Krystal, and locks lips with Bekah. At the end of the night, everyone still hates Krystal (except Arie, natch) but now Krystal hates Bekah because she got the Date Rose. Krystal decides to be more aggressive, which will undoubtedly go over well with the other women.

You Had Me At Merlot

For the one-on-one date, Arie has invited Lauren S., a social media manager (She has a cool job! exclaims Arie) to fly to wine country and drink. After a few glasses of wine she realizes that she has forgotten how to be romantic. She aims at openness and vulnerability, but ends up at rambling nonsensically. Shes so all over the place that Arie gives up trying to get a word in edgewise and decides to actually eat the food on The Bachelor. This may be a first.

When hes done eating, Arie reaches for the Date Rose, turns to Lauren S. and says, Not for you! He sends her home in the Limo of Sadness. Back at the mansion, the women all gasp in horror as Lauren S.s suitcase is removed from the premises.

Ruff Date

Cocktails and Kisses

The Saddest Girl At The Cocktail Party

The Rose Ceremony


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